where i am now....

I am on my bed now.. its 10 mins before 1 in the morning.. n yet im still wide awake...
I had a bad dream the last few days... I guess thats what bothering me now.. n my eyes just reluctant to shut.. umm... i know its just a dream.... hopefully it is...
A special friend of my mine told me about a video in the you tube... which can motivates people to go further and be successful in the future... well... those kind of things... it doesnt work for me... its not that i am a such "rebellious" or perhaps an egoist person.. its just that.. ol my life... this two decades... i always know what i want.. n i will go great distance to achieve it... i always been knowing what my heart says... i really do.. its not all about the confidence... or demanding person.. but its just that.... i know what i want... and i know how to get it.
simple example,
if u do actually go with me to shop for clothes... u will soo suprise how i buy my clothes... if i like.. i will buy it.. without testing it on... same like pants... i know that is the style i want and thats my size... so i dont actually bother to try it on before cashing it...
the only thing that can stop me from all this is my beloved people... im just weak by them... they are my weaknesses... they are my legs to stand.. but they are also my head to think about it... i just can go anything in this world can offer but... they are there to say if its wrong....

A collection of gifts from a special person...

From Oct '09 - Jan '10.... while im away...

A special lovely birthday card...


Along with card... is these treasures.... A fleece, Mp3, Stickers, Key chains, Books...


Tinkerbell fleece in the washing machine... how incredible.. just sitting there...


Earlier, I received this sparkling necklace and a dragonfly key chain...


During the evening on my birthday, this arrived to suprise me... a big bouquet of flower...

This is my favourite... a sparkling dragonfly bracelet....


This just arrived on the 1st of January 2010... LED night candles...

Before switching on...
After a while being switched on.... Switched to different colour.... 7 colours... This is how LED night candle looks like.....

This is all from him... a special thought makes me feel like home.... Thanx. :)

simple physics of life...

I am very depressed today... just realized that life is just like dreaming...
if u had a good one.. u will end up smiling at the end... but if u had a nightmare... well... you end up crying....

but somehow... i had a slap on my face today... since i dreamed too much... but reality... its just the opposite... n i haven't awake to see the reality.... and now it end up hurting myself... again n again...

how many times u could possibly give someone chances of forgiveness.... well... to me.. it depends on how much u love them...
yes... im telling you... i look tough at the outside.. but you do not know how weak im in the inside...

you can fool me around with your magic trick.... n still amazed me... despite i know the trick behind it... oh well... maybe i am just naive... but... over all... i just cant hate someone that i love and... end up... just fall deeply with their act...

i tried my very best to things that I particularly interested... esp. the one that i love... but.. oh well... if someone cant see right through you... no matter how hard you tried and how wonderful you are... they just cant see it.... blind... but... how about for things that you cant say no to... you need to have it... to make your life meaningful.... perhaps... sacrifice can take place in this case... you need to sacrifice to actually taste it... well.. how about in the end... it just crumbles? well... i guess... i tried to achieve it.... so... it just not for me...

so live life with your own colourful paint and appreciate the drawings that you made...

cheers... :)